Pizza Delivery #1

If you’ve read anything previously in my blog, you may know that I deliver pizzas a few nights per week.  I enjoy it because I get to meet so many interesting people and I witness a lot of goofy things.  On occasion, there’s a delivery that sticks out in your mind for obvious reasons.  This is one of those such cases.

It was a single pie delivery to a cozy room at the Comfort Suites.  When I arrive and knock, a gentleman near my age opens the door.  Without warning a boy, maybe 9 or 10 years old, wanders aimlessly out the door.  The man grabs him and pushes the child back to a cot I see just inside the room.  There was no protest from the child, in fact the child wasn’t talking at all.  Apparently the child was sleep walking.  It was strange but this delivery would get even stranger.

His total was $24 and some change.  He pulls out his wallet and starts going through it well within my sight.  There are numerous $100 bills.  He tried handing me one but I didn’t have the change for that.  It was all he had so we were in a sort of dilemma.  I suggested he stay with the child and I run to the front desk for change.  As collateral, I left my pizza bag with him.  As if that was worth anything to me.

I return and hand him the five $20 bills and repeat the total.  What does this dude do?  He tells me to hang on and shuts the door.  So, I’m sitting outside this door thinking, Great, not only did I launder this guy’s money now he’s stiffed me for the pizza too.

Thankfully, that wasn’t the case but he wasn’t done with me yet.  This is where the whole transaction goes right over my head.  He’s standing there with his wallet again, but this time he has all his cash fanned out in front of me.  He looks up and down the hallway and says, “Hey, you want to come on inside for a moment?”

My response?  “I’m sorry sir but policy doesn’t allow us to enter residences.” He seemed a little put off by my response but shrugged, handed me $40 and told me to keep the change.  YAY!  $15 tip!  Good times, good times…

As I’m driving back to the restaurant, I got to thinking.  Why on God’s green Earth did this dude ask me to step inside his hotel room?  It wasn’t cold or raining in the hallway.

Then I made a realization, as he invited me into his hotel room he had $100 bills fanned out in front of me.  Oh. My. God.  Some weird dude just solicited me for sex with his kid sleeping right there next to him?  You’ve got to be kidding me!  It totally went right over my head!  That’s probably a good thing though because I would have flipped out on the dude.  That’s disgusting, and with your kid right there??

People are weird.  I think I should start wearing a GoPro when delivering pizzas because you can’t make some of this stuff up!  Delivering pizzas can sometimes be stranger than fiction!


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